Saturday, March 31, 2018

Maybe A Moment's Frustration? What Should It Be Called?

This is going to be long and deep.

I woke up to people fighting. Aside from that, I am having an internal struggle from constrasting point of views, wondering how I should feel and which path I should take that is If I should be a slave to human conditions or not. But isn't it very human and just natural to react and respond to things that are coming our way? Even in science there's always a reaction when there's an input. Some teachings that I have learned have told me to not be a slave to human conditions. If we have something good happen to us, we react to that condition, if it's bad we also react. Whatever condition we undergo we become a slave to it and that is how we respond and feel. I want to cut these feeling of being under control by certain conditions. But how? If I strip these things from myself, Would I still hold my humanity? What makes us human?
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What should one do? Society never taught us how. But what is a human being like when a human being is free from reacting to conditions that they were given?
Is it freedom? What is that feeling to longer be held captive by your emotions that were  dictated by the present situation and condition we are in? I am having a hard time with how I should approach this, even if the teachings tell me to just follow the path of least resistance. I don't want to be left with answers like "just go with the flow" or "take it easy" because even with those mindset I still will react. And the point is to stop reacting. And then we go back in circles asking what is left there if I stop feeling. It is hard to be forthcoming when you are frustrated.

I feel helpless and stupid.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

I Am Asking The Universe.

I will not be embarassed and express what I so desire. Universe, I ask you to give me this man I will love and cherish for as long as he wants me to. I'll try to be more specific. I want a guy that has dark hair with some soft brown or blonde tones. Blue eyes or any light eyes like hazel. Slim-medium or toned built. Sharp nose like Chris Evans. 5'10 (that's just my height in heels) or taller. sweet, thoughtful and protective. Can carry me and throw me on the bed. Sees more to me than what meets the eye. This I solemnly ask Universe. Come to me. So mote it be.

Friday, March 9, 2018

Filled With Feelings Of Love

I am filled with feelings of love. I feel so much warmth inside. Anything is possible within by reach.
I am in the frontier of my dreams that are happening.